Never Let It Rest

Dorman Volleyball Creates Unique Culture

Paula Kirkland doesn’t much care if you see the state championship trophies, though there are a couple stationed around the Dorman women’s coaches office, including the latest for the 2024 season. That’s the program’s 16th, if you’re counting.

She doesn’t mind if you don’t ask (and would rather you didn’t) about the Coach of the Year awards, or about the South Carolina Coaches Hall of Fame, or about the NATIONAL Federation of High Schools Hall of Fame.

None of that matters. When you’re talking about her girls, the sisterhood of the Dorman volleyball program, THE dominant force in the state’s biggest classification since 1990, all she really wants you to see before you leave is a coffee mug.

It’s a simple thing, really. A much with a photo on the front. It’s coming up on 35 years old now. And it’s a perfect illustration of what Kirkland teaches day in and day out; of what Dorman volleyball has become through four decades of dominance; of what the sisterhood of Dorman volleyball encompasses. 

Let me tell you about how much Dorman volleyball and the bonds that it creates means to some of the women who have come through the program.

First, let me tell you about that mug. Or about the players behind it.

BREAKING THROUGH

Amy Downey said we could meet any time to talk about how special Dorman volleyball and Paula Kirkland are to her. We picked a day.

She sent a text to change it. There were two more people who I needed to hear from.

That’s the thing about something like Dorman volleyball. You’re never going to talk to everybody you need to talk to. All the voices are important. 

Downey and former teammates Heather Bastian and Kim Bomar met me at a west-side restaurant, and I finally got to the story of that mug. There’s not much to its creation, really. Downey had it made to commemorate Dorman’s 1990 state championship, the program’s first, the win that truly kicked the door down for the program’s incredible run. 

“I bet Heather probably even made the coffee mug,” Downey said. “She worked at Things Remembered at the mall, and I think I just put “State Champs” on it, and I know there’s a picture of me and Coach. It cracks me up that she still has it. But that was the beginning. It was just such an experience to be part of something like that, and to win.”

Just a couple days before, Kirkland had told me that the winning, with that 1990 group, was something she just kind of expected the further the season went along.

“Those were just some little country girls who didn’t know how to lose,” she said with a grin.

“We knew how to fight and how to get it done,” Downey said.

It was more than that, though. Bastian said that she, Downey, and Bomar were inseparable.

“With the three of us, especially, we’d played together from middle school through our senior year. Amy was on one side of me playing, and Kim was on the other side. We were so close.”

Bomar said activities outside of volleyball was one of the reasons the team stayed so close.

“We’d break bread together,” she said. “Our whole summers were volleyball. Heather would pick me up every day, and our summers were training.”

“In the old gym, with no air conditioning,” Downey said with a laugh. 

“And then we’d hit the Beacon, like a family,” Bomar continued. “That, to me, is where the bond comes from. Because you’re playing and sweating and eating together, you go to each other’s houses, and you’d just spend time together.”

That bond continues even now.”

“To this day,” Downey said. “You pick up the phone, ‘hey, let’s go’, and here we are.”

CREATING A CULTURE

That 1990 team started a three-peat, with Dorman adding titles in 1991 and 1992. They did that again in 1995, 1996, and 1997. The had a run of four titles in six years starting in 2000, winning that year and in 2001, winning again in 2003 and 2004, and playing for titles in 2002 and 2005. Dorman’s last 4A title came in 2009, and they won 5A titles in 2016, 2017, 2021, 2023, and 2024, playing for a title in 2015. In all, Kirkland’s teams are 16-3 in state title game appearances.

Kelly Bailey was on those mid-90s teams, and said the girls who preceded her teams definitely set a standard.

“There’s a lot of pressure, but it’s kind of different because Kirkland has created such a great culture,” Bailey said. “It truly is a sisterhood, and it’s felt, and it continues to grow with every year. We were smaller than Dorman is now. Playing in the old gym is different that what they’re dealing with playing in the arena. And we loved every bit of it. We just soaked it up. There was incredible talent that came ahead of us, we got a taste for it, and we wanted it to continue. We just knew we had to work hard, and we knew how to do that.”

A lot of that, Bailey said, comes from Kirkland. 

“She just makes it so easy where you don’t feel like you’re killing yourself,” she said. “I vividly remember running the entire perimeter of the old campus, and when I coached with her I remember wondering why they don’t have to do that now.”

Coming back to coach with Kirkland is something Bailey said she doesn’t take for granted, and something that was a perfect fit for her.

“I always knew I’d be in District Six,” she said. “I couldn’t see myself anywhere else. I bleed Cavalier blue when it comes to Dorman. There was an opening at Gable, teaching English and coaching. The two just kind of married together, and I was excited. I didn’t have kids at the time, my husband was working at night, it was just a great fit. When you’re away from it, she’s created such a great culture that you want to get down on that court SO bad. I was missing it. I’m very blessed and thankful that the opportunity came, even just to be a co-worker, let alone a friend to my coach.”

Bailey’s seen the sisterhood first-hand, from both sides, and treasures the experience.

“Just even seeing the girls win state and toilet papering Kirk’s house, that takes us back,” she laughed. “It truly is indescribable. Just simple things like that, being around the girls and coaching, having dinner beforehand, riding the bus to state, every little aspect of it. It all takes you back. When I think of my high school career, it would be nothing without Dorman volleyball. It’s what molded me. It created character, leadership – it’s so much more than just volleyball. It doesn’t matter if you’re a starter, or on the bench waiting your turn. It’s a team effort.”

CONTINUING THE LEGACY

Kirkland’s staff these days includes three women who played for her in Stephanie Chastain, Erin America, and Natalie Boyd. Chastain was on three state title teams, and America was on two, and both can see every memory Bailey describes flooding back.

“I think playing volleyball here is such a great thing to go through whether you never step on the court or you play every point,” Chastain said. “It’s being part of some sort of club or sorority in high school, and at Dorman, something like that is imperative to your success. You can sink or swim here easily.”

Chastain thinks that because Dorman is the largest school in the state and everything that comes with that, having the bond that the volleyball team enjoys prepares the girls for success.

“I think Dorman is a true representation of what the general population looks like,” she said. “We’re not a boutique school. It’s not a school where everybody looks the same and talks the same and dresses the same. It’s a true simulation of Spartanburg County. Coming here is different, and you’ve got to figure it out. You’ve got to find your own way. I don’t think that’s easy for everybody. And for the girls to have each other – when there’s a volleyball girl in your class, or to be able to walk the halls with a volleyball girl, to see the coaches or Kirk in the hallways – when you’re in the middle of 4,000 people that’s a BIG deal. It’s huge. It adds an extra level of comfort, and it something that can kind of help float you through.”

America said that comfort level is just something that she’s always known as a part of Dorman volleyball.

“It’s a culture that was created from the start, I think,” she said. I”t runs real deep. Coach Kirkland makes a big deal out of doing the little things together as a team that unify us. Like being on the bus together and pulling into the parking lot. We always do the same cheers, and sing the Alma Mater, and do the same things. She turned around one day, and some of the girls weren’t doing the right things for the Alma Mater, and we stopped. We talked about it. Because those things are the things that build us. It builds our culture. It’s who we are. It’s turned this program into what it is, because it never changes.”

The continuity and consistency through the program goes back to that bond and to the things Kirkland instills, Chastain said.

“You have this same figurehead that has instilled these same values into so many people for so many years, and clearly it’s worked,” she said. “Because we come back to work for her and we’re trying to do the same things.”

Boyd, too, said that the sisterhood and all that goes with it is just something she expects, because it’s how it’s always been for her.

“It’s very special, but it’s kind of all I know,” she said. “She coached me, and now I’m working with her. I know what’s expected. I’ve been through the culture. I know how we do things. I don’t expect anything to change. Coaching the new girls, training them how she trained me, you expect success because you’ve been successful. It’s just natural.”

The current crop of Cavaliers, now two-time defending state champions, are continuing the legacy. Departing senior Kayla O’Brien’s sister, Carly, was a standout for the Cavaliers herself. America’s daughter Gracelyn and Chastain’s daughter Ramsey Larke are outstanding players for this year’s team. The coaches are delighted to have their daughters playing for Kirkland.

“ It feels like it’s the way it’s supposed to be,” Chastain said. “I wouldn’t have expected anything different, but you know, that doesn’t always work out for people. Coming into it, we thought it would be great, would be cool if she wanted to do this, and then by the time she was 11 or 12 she really wanted to be a part of it. I think that it clicked for her, too. To see her out there, it’s great. I don’t coach her much per se, that’s Kirk’s job. It’s just exciting. I don’t cry about a lot of things, but athletics really just get me. I think my Dad is the one who loves it the most.”

America agreed.

“It’s exciting (to watch her put on the uniform),” she said. “It feels like being 17 again. All those feelings come back, it’s almost like being on the court.”

Ramsey Larke, who’s been around the program from a young age because Stephanie has been so involved, said ending her junior year and beginning her senior season is bittersweet.

“I grew up here,” she said. “It’s a little sad. It’s crazy to think that I’ll be a senior next year. I’ve watched all the years before and how exciting it was. It just feels like a family. Kirk always says that we’re family, and we treat each other that way. It’s good to know that you have people who stand up for you and who have your back.”

Gracelyn said the chance to play for Kirkland, and to share the experience with Erin, is something that’s special to her.

“I think it’s really cool to know that my mom went through the same things that I did, and we can talk about volleyball in the sense that we’ve done the same things,” she said. “We relate to each other a lot.”

Both players are about to take on the increased role Kirkland requires of her seniors, and it’s something they’re looking forward to.

“It takes a lot of leadership and understanding that everyone has a different role on the team,” Ramsey said. “As seniors, it’s a big job to set everything up and be mature and handle drama, and to try to lead and organize.”

Reese Shugart, one of the Cavaliers’ leaders on the court, is also ready to lead off the court as well.

“I feel like I already had a leadership role on the court, but next year it will be even bigger,” she said. “Seniors here have a big role in taking control of the locker room. And I’ve learned from the seniors, players like Lizzie (Nelson). She’s a really big leader off the court. She handled all the organization, the locker room, dinners outside of practices, team bonding, taking action. That’s what seniors do. They stop drama in the locker room before it ever goes to the coaches. Senior leaders take care of it and stop it pretty fast.”

Outgoing seniors O’Brien and Sophia Warren, who also had a sister win a state title, said each senior class takes that leadership role to heart. It’s something they talked to their sisters about.

“She led on the court and in the locker room,” O’Brien said. “If there were arguments, she’d try to solve them. And she tried to keep everybody confident on the court.”

Warren said she’d learned a lot from her sister’s time at Dorman.

“She actually transferred in, but even she knew that winning the state championship was the goal, the standard, and what they wanted to do here. Just learning from her and listening to her, I looked up to her when I was a freshman on JV and she was a senior. Seeing her win that state championship was really exciting, just know one day I’d have that chance.”

That’s the heart of it. Preserving the chance to win for the next girls down the line.

“I think that comes from within as a senior class,” O’Brien said. “We wanted to honor the seniors from last year and go win another one.”

Kirkland said that attitude is part of what the program is about.

“Everybody before the season will ask how you’re  gonna be, are you gonna win another one?,” she said.  “And the answer is always “we’ll be in the mix”, because we will. Whether that means we’re out in the first round or we make it all the way to the end, we’ll be in the mix. And I feel like I can say that usually with very much clarity, because I know what kind of players we have coming back, what kind of players we have in the program, and what our competition’s going to be like.”

As for seniors passing the torch to the next group, along with the weight of those expectations, Kirkland said that’s exactly what she’s after.

“I kind of like that they think that way,” she said. “That’s how I’m thinking. Winning is fun, and it’s not a given. Even here, as much as we talk about it, you can’t count on it. “Folks do know that there are expectations there, but they also know that there are certain things that come with that expectation. We’re going to work all summer. We’re going to do a hard camp. We’re going to play the best competition we can play, and we’re going to play the best people on the court who give us the best chance to win. You’re not just given something. You’ve got to have the right kind of attitude. I tell them every year after the parent meeting for Spring volleyball, we have a lot of people here, and if you have a bad attitude, I don’t need you.  It really starts with people buying in to the whole concept. That’s part of the expectation. You have to nip that in the bud real quick. Whether they’re the best in the world or not, we have people who know how to do it the right way, and know that’s the expectation.”

To set and continue to reinforce those expectations, Kirkland leans as heavily on her seniors as any coach, anywhere.

“I count on them a lot, and that means I have to trust them,” she said. “We have meetings early on, and I tell them what the expectation is. I tell them what I think a leader is. A leader is not a boss. They don’t go in the locker room and boss people around –  that’s not what you do. You lead by example, and certain things are expected. Be on time? YOU be on time. And early is on time. On time is late. You set that example and people will follow. How you behave in the locker room, people will follow. And if there’s behavior going on in the locker room that’s not what we would approve of, then say something. But think about your tone when you’re communicating with your teammates. We try to give a little lesson in leadership before we turn it over to the seniors, because I want to be able to trust them. I believe in coaching and letting everybody know they have our respect. Be dignified. You don’t want anybody to walk out of here feeling like you put them under the earth. You want to treat everybody with respect.”

Nowhere is that respect more evident than when Dorman loses. Kirkland takes care to be sure that her teams know that far from being the end of the world, setbacks are necessary and even welcome in order to foster growth.

“I think that we – and I mean all of us coaches – really allow them to fail and be ok with that and learn from it. You’re gonna screw up. You’re not going to be perfect. Play your game. I think we give people freedom to grow without being picked on or made to be felt horrible about a bad decision. We went to Florida this year to play in a tournament, and we got beat, but we learned. We played great teams and we learned a lot about ourselves.”

LIFETIME BONDS

Kirkland wants exactly none of the credit for the culture around her program. Players – particularly those who have been gone from the program for a few years and who can appreciate Dorman volleyball with the experience only life can bring – insist that she does.

That starts with the most-decorated Cavalier in school history.

“She’s the ultimate player’s coach,” Thayer Hall said. “She lets you balance life and volleyball. She understands the needs and fluctuations of high school players, and all that comes with that. She just gets it, and that’s why she’s so good at what she does. That’s why all her players, past and present, respect her so much. That’s why it means so much to have my name etched in stone for the Dorman Volleyball sisterhood.”

Those first champions couldn’t agree more.

“It’s still exciting to be part of it,” Downey said. “We went to a game all together a couple of years ago. She saw us and came right over to speak to us and see us. It was the start of it. We could taste it our freshman year. Airport High would always be in our way. By the time we were seniors, we knew we had something built. And it is fun and exciting to continue to watch it.

Bomar said there’s a great deal of pride involved with being a Dorman volleyball alumnus. 

“it makes you proud, because you know you were a part of that,” she said. “And you feel like you’re still a part of that as she continues to win and build those bonds and that sisterhood.”

Bastian said she hopes the current Cavaliers take nothing for granted.

“I hope they’ll hold it close to their hearts, because you’ll always know you were a part of something special,” she said. “I’m proud to be a part of a dynasty that we helped to start.”

That legacy – the feeling of being part of something special – is far more important to Kirkland that any accolades or titles.

“I think it’s one of the most important things about the culture and the program,” she said. “We do feel a connection. It’s not just a connection to me, they feel a connection with each other. And it’s not just the people they played with. Natalie didn’t play with Stephanie or Erin, but she feels a huge connection with them and they have lots that they can talk about. We’ve got moms and dads in the stands who played here, and they come and watch their daughters. They get it. The more that people feel that connection and know that connection, there’s something to build.”

There’s a spot where at least a couple of players will disagree with their coach. While Kirkland doesn’t want to be the center of any sort of attention, many of her girls feel like even more is due.

“She’ll never understand how much we look up to her,” Bailey said. “She’ll never understand how much she means to us. There’s no honor, no award, no Hall of Fame that can explain that. There will never be enough to give Paula Kirkland.”

Kirkland thinks the honors earned by the program is plenty. A mantra is painted in the Dorman locker room. It’s repeated by the girls. It tells the entire story.

“Good, better, best

Never let it rest.

Until your good is better,

And your better is best.”

“My mama and daddy raised me that way,” Kirkland said. “I came here, and I want to do the best job I can and make my community proud, and my parents proud, and my players and coaches proud. That’s what it’s all about.”